InuYasha: Oi! This wench is CRAZY!
by CJ - Lady of Gryffindor
Summary: A Little of this, a little of that. A collection of some of my InuYasha humor bits.Including Script Parodys,Character profiles, minishots The Goofy side of InuYasha! Rated for language and mild adult themes.
1. Because They Deserved It Part I

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Disclaimer: InuYasha is the property of Rumiko Takahashi

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BECAUSE SOME OF THESE SCRIPTS JUST PLAIN FUCKIN DESERVED IT

PART ONE

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Episode Rewrite #1

Darkness In Kag's ticker over Inu and the Chia pet

Formerly known as Darkness in Kagome's Heart

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InuYasha: "Oh no, Oh No. (slams fist) I turned my back and now Kikyoooooooooooooooooooooo is dead again for good again, its all my fault, i let her die again."

Kag's " Uh InuYasha, you were a little busy saving me and four others at the time"

InuYasha" Yeah, who gives a shit if I saved YOU from Naraku... Kikyoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo pout pout pout"

Puppet Monk: Hey dood, im Paul the Puppet and I am here to tell you that your little Chia pet is alive and waiting for you in the land of "Get the hell out of here so we can kidnap the babe"

Inu: Kikyooooooooooooooooooooooooo's alive? Kikyoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Kag's : (Rolls eyes) Go ahead Inuyasha

Inu: Really? yu wont get mad?

Kag's: Where you been? Of course ill get mad, but I haven't made my incredible self- sacrifice yet this episode and if I don't people might not feel really bad for me when its revealed that this is another of Naraku's tricks. "

InuYasha: "Kagome"

Kag's (dramatic pose): go Inuyasha, this isn't the time to hesitate...and would you pick me up some tylenol on your way home? All your fucking yelling for Kikyo's giving me a mother of a headache.

inu "Right"

Guard" Hey doods, were here to kidnap yall"

Miroku " Should we beat em up?"

Sango "No its in InuYasha's contract that only he can beat people up in this episode."

Shippo " This sucks, i better go get InuYasha or we wont get two full episodes out of this"

Kagura: " Heya Kags, fooled ya...na na na na boo boo"

Baby: "Forget sucking her soul, I wanna be BREAST FED"

kags "Slap" thats not in the script"

Baby "okay okay...so, you hate Kikyo eh? InuYasha is a punk who keeps ditching you to go running off looking for his ex who's nothing but a bitchy old chia pet with tits eh?" Voice over

inu: Kikyoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Baby: someone should slap him just for that annoying yelling he does. Okay babe, I got your soul now, so make your eyes look all spacey so we can go to the second part...

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Episode Rewrite #2

Change KIKYOOOOO into KAGOMEEEE

Previously known as

Change Heartache into Courage

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Sango :" Miroku, my hands are itching to beat someone up, I can't wait for inuyasha anymore."

miroku" me either, besides I'm just dying to see that cute little baby"

BAM BEAT RAM hit slug

Baby :Hey Kag's you still hate InuYasha and Kikyo so, lets live together, mind if I steal your eyes? I cant see through these red contacts. Oh yeah, baby, just nuzzle me a little closer. Kagura, you sure that script says I cant breast feed too?"

Kag's :"slap"

Kanna: "Hey lets play watch this black tainted jewel shard bounce of the spacey eyed girls head"

bounce bounce bounce

Kagura: Hey, thats kinda fun, let me try

Bounce Bounce Bounce

Baby: Hey, I wanna turn

Bounce Bounce Bounce

Inu: Shippo, why are you here

Shippo: didn't you read your script fool?

Inu : Oh yeah,(flips through pages) it was a trap. Oh no, I was taken in again, I let them trick me into believing my dear beloved

Kikyoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

was still alive and needing me! But I thought Kag;s would be safe with that demented sicko Naraku still out there with a brand new body wanting me and my friends dead, specailly since I know that since

Kikyoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

is dead now again for good Kagome is the only one who can see the shards. Oh, how could I have been so stupid. Oh woe is me! I hope Kagomeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee doesn't die like my beloved KIkyooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Shippo: Uh are we gonna go sometime today?"

Inu: Kagomeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Don't you die like Kikyoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Kag's : hey, you cant win because I may hate Kikyo and think Inuyasha is a selfish prick but, hey love conquers all and Rumiko Takahashi says I still love InuYasha. Besides, if I don't have my eyes how will I look at Inuyasha with mindless adoration?

Inu: busts through...HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Flexes muscles

Kag's: Inuyasha...you came...after I saved myself of course so you can take all the credit...

InuYasha: If you touch Kagomeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee again, I'll kick your ass

Baby: Hey, as long as you got a hard on for Chia pets, I got a chance at the babe so, I'll be back, and you can BET I'm gonna have my agent renegotiate my contract so I get to be breast fed

Kagura: Hey kid, you look like shit

Baby: What do you expect? 'I'm fucking hungry and I cant get no tit.

" Kagome ill never leave you again:"

"Will too"

"Will not"

"Will too"

"Will not"

"Too"

"Not"

"Too"

"not".

Kag's : you will too,, Rumiko Takahashi says so!

Inu: Can't argue with the boss lady.

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Scene Rewrite # 3

Like Kagome Had a Choice

Previously

Kagome's Instinctive Choice

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Inu Hey Miroku and Sango, let me Dump Kagome off on you okay, bye…"

Kag's "Told u so (flips him off behind his back)"

" hey Hijini Lady your Kikyo aint ya?,"

Puppet explodes

inu: "Was it something I said?"

Inu " What do you mean Kagome may be in trouble again? How did u let that happen? How can you be so irresponsible? Don't you have a single cell working in that brain?" (conveniently forgets promise and passes the buck)

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Shikigami girl 1:If you don't go in that nasty looking water Kikyo will die

Kagome: And this is a problem….why?

Shikigami girl 2: If Kikyo dies then you will lose your tragic self sacrificing good girl angel edge.

Kagome: Well, I would certainly hate to lose that. That's how I counteract the evil bitch me who slams Inu's face into the ground all the time. Okay I'll do it. Gimme that spackle and a putty knife.

Kagome opens Kikyos robes to see wound

Kags: Ouch, look at that gaping wound, that's gotta hurt. Tee hee, my tits are bigger and perkier too. Oh look, movies! Oh, it's a chick flick. Now everyone can feel sorry for me cause I have to watch what Naraku did to InuYasha and Kikyo. BOO HOO DING DING microwave timer

Kag's: Hey Kikyo, your done

Kikyo: yeah well, id thank you the lube and oil change, but I wont since you were just doing what the script told u to.

Kag's: no thanks needed. Really, but hey, don't you want to see Inu...

Kikyo: nope

Kag's: Kikyo..!!!..Kikyo.…!!!!

Hey Kikyo…!! HEY GET YOUR CHIA PET ASS BACK HERE!!! YOUR CREDIT CARD WAS REJECTED!

Inu : Hey Kagomeeeeeeeeeeeeee wassup?

Kag's" Don't even start with me you ignorant little pissant. I hate you.

Inu: Kagomeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee did you and

Kikyoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

have a brawl or something?

Kag's : Sit

Inu: thanks for changing Kikyooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo's oil, I'm not going to leave you again Kagomeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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	2. Sesshomaru's Obsession It Is She

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Disclaimer: InuYasha is the Property of Rumiko Takahashi

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Sesshomaru's Obsession

It Is She

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I am Sesshomaru, Lord of the Western Lands. Taiyokai, Inu no Tashio. This name of course is known far and wide, or rather I should say this name is feared far and wide, by both human and yokai. Few and far between are the foolish who do not bow to me in humble respect for my power alone.

Of course there are the random imbecilic ilk, those like my fathers other son, InuYasha and his young miko who lack the general common sense to know when they are in the presence of a power far superior to their own and therefore act rather foolishly, taking their lives in their hands with their gall to challenge the great one.

However, I do not put forth the effort to put words to paper to boast of my own wondrous glory, although many a volume could be filled with precious words of praise regarding this Sesshomaru. Nay, I bring ink to paper this day to speak of the one I hold in the highest esteem, second only to myself of course.

It is she, she that makes this Sesshomaru wish for things that shall never be, things that can not be, the only things that lay beyond the reach of my fingertips. It is she.

She of the gentle wisdom and coquettish smile, her pearlescent skin brilliant, glowing in its radiance. This Sesshomaru knows that it is soft and supple, though I have never touched it's surface but for the briefest of touches.

She, she of the vampish glances that set my loins ablaze, she the only creature that has forced me to redirect my gaze from her form. A single look, a blush that lights my skin afire until I must turn away from her and flee, lest I take her in my arms and defile her with my impassioned InuYokai lust.

It is she, she that I shall never know intimately but shall always desire. Her voice a whisper of dreams that shall never know the light of day. She who has and will never known a man, much less this Sesshomaru. It is she who I compare all others to. It is she to whom no other can compare in her ethereal beauty.

She is a goddess who can bring this Sesshomaru to his knees.

She is…

Kaede.

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	3. Because They Deserved it Part II

-Disclaimer: InuYasha is the property of Rumiko Takahashi

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Because These Scripts Deserved It 

Part II

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You want me to go WHERE ? 

Formerly known as Kagome's voice and Kikyo's kiss

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Kagome: Look, uh…Kikyo…this bondage thing is nice and all, but its just really not my thing. I'm a prude, a total tease. Just ask InuYasha. 

Kikyo: Oh shut up you whining goody two shoes. Bitch bitch bitch.

Kagome: InuYasha! Thank kami you've come to rescue me…

InuYasha: KIKYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I was looking for KAGOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE but it's nice to see you too, back from the dead. Again.

Kikyo: I came to kill you InuYasha

Kagome: Uh, InuYasha…Yooo Hooo Hello

InuYasha: Kikyoooooooooooooooo, why would you want to kill me?

Kikyo: Well, that yelling Kikyooooooooooo all the time for starters.

Kagome: I'm with that Kikyo, but a good knee to the groin might work too

InuYasha: Kikyoooooooooooooooooo how did you survive that fall?

Kikyo: I'm a chia pet stupid, I had a Kleenex in my pocket and it acted as a parachute

InuYasha: Kikyooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Ive never stopped thinking about you! Everytime I pick up a playboy and spend a long time in the bathroom…your always on my mind…

Kagome: Ewwww too much information…yoo hoo remember me?

Kikyo: Stalker much? Okay InuYasha, Lets kissy face. (glomp)

Kagome: Uh…InuYasha…the ground in opening up around you and its not quick sand. Look at your feet dog boy...thats like HELL.

Kagome: whistles lovely weather for this time of year

Kagome: Hey, remember me? Cute perky girl from the future? Little on the annoying side but a basically ok chick?

Kagome: Ummm InuYasha…remember that rescuing me thing? Shinidamachu getting a little tight on the wrists n

Kagome: Losing the circulation in my fingers…

InuYasha: Damn Kagomeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, I know your there, just have patience, Ill get to you on page thirteen.

Kagome: Fine, but just remember its all your fault if you want a hand job and I can't give you one because I have no fingers.

InuYasha: Did someone say Blowjob?

Kagome: HAND Job DOUGHHEAD!

InuYasha: Can't blame a guy for trying….

Kikyo: InuYasha…come with me to hell

InuYasha: Uh…Say what?

Kikyo: Come with me to hell…we can get a nice condo on the lake of fire front.

Kagome: (sing song voice) InuYasha…Haaaannnd Joooooooob.

InuYasha: Oh look! Kagomeeeeeeeeeeeeee's here! Hey, Kagomeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! Oh look at the time! Sorry Kikyoooooooooooooooo, can I give you a rain check on that hell thing…I gotta go rescue Kagomeeeeeeeeeeeeee now.

Kikyo: Tell the truth InuYasha…your choosing a hand job over hell aren't you?

InuYasha: Well Kikyooooooo, ya gotta admit…hand job…hell, hand job…hell….not much of a competition there hehehe.

Kagome: I win. Neener neener neener I offered to touch his weener. Giggle

InuYasha frees Kagome

Kikyo: InuYasha…You care more about a hand job than you do about me?

InuYasha: Uh…well DUH I am a guy. Unless you two would be interested in a threesome...

Kikyo: Not on your life dogboy

Kikyo flies away

InuYasha: So, uh, Kagome…about that hand job…

Kagome: KEH! Hentai! SIT BOY! I'm going home.

InuYasha: Kagome !!!!!!!!!! Oh my poor PEEPEE!!!

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	4. Krackin On Kanna

-Disclaimer: InuYasha is the property of Rumiko Takahashi-

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Note: Manga Spoiler reguarding Kanna's demise. This will make no sense to you unless you are aware of how Kanna met her end. A brief discription is included. For those who don't wish to know, go back now. 

Naraku created a Mirror yokai that stole the attacks from Tessiaga. During the battle Kanna absorbed the damage instead of the mirror yokai. She eventually shattered. Like a mirror kind of. In a final act of betrayal she sent information about Naraku to Kagome through a tiny piece of debris that went into Kagome's eye.

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Krackin on Krumbly Kanna

Kanna Songs…

To the tune of "I am Woman"

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I am Kanna see me Krack

And I won't be coming back

Naraku go and kiss your own

Butt Krack...

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But I'll get the final word

Naraku you smelly Turd

Byakuya You are next

So Heed my final WORDs

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I'M KRACKIN UP

BUT I GET THE LAST LAUGH

I slipped your enemies one

Right square in the eye!

I am strong

I am invincible!

I AM KRUMBLY!!

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Krumbly Kanna's Song

_To London Bridge _

Krumbly Kanna's Falling Down

Falling Down

Falling Down

Krumbly Kanna's Falling Down

INN OOUUUU YASHA

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Build Her Up with lumps of flesh

lumps of flesh

lumps of flesh

Build her up with lumps of flesh

BYYY AAAA KUYAAA

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It's too late she's gonna blow

gonna blow

gonna blow

It's too late she's gonna blow

INNN UUU TACHI

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Here's some Info in your eye

In your eye

in your eye

Here's some info in your eye

KA AA GOME

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Krumbly Kanna says Kiss my Kracks

Kiss My Kracks

Kiss my Kracks

Krumbly Kanna says Kiss my Kracks

NAA AAA RAKU!

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	5. The Bonds Of Brotherly Love

-Disclaimer: InuYasha is the property of Rumiko Takahashi-

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Bonds of Brotherly Love

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The InuYasha and Sesshomaru Song

_to the tune of Where is Thumbkin_

Where is Sesshy

Where is Inu

Here I am

Here I am

How are you bastard?

Very well half breed

Go to hell

Been there thanks..

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Version 2

Fuck you Sesshomaru!

Insolent Half Breed!

What do you want now?

What do you think?

Why you wearin' make-up?

Give me the DAMN TESSIAGA!

Kiss my ass!

Grovel and DIE!

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	6. Kagome Live

Kagome: Hi, I'm Kagome. Were happy to be featured here today. This is one of our very favorite web sights.

Sango: It's sure is!

Miroku: Yes, it is.

Shippo: It's really neat!

InuYasha Keh, its ok, if you like that kind of thing I guess.

Sesshomaru: I don't like human web sights

InuYasha: hey, nobody told me the &#(&$ was going to be here.

Kagome: InuYasha,

InuYasha: stupid #&$#

Sesshomaru: half-breed

Kagome: Boys please! Were guests here, try to behave.

InuYasha: Keh, what're you telling me for?

Kagome: Rolls eyes

Kagome: Rin, it is nice to see you again

Rin : Hi there Kagome! Can I say something to Mitsukai's readers?

Kagome: sure

Rin: It's for all the fanfic writers out there.

Kagome: Okay, shoot

Jaken: Bang

Sesshomaru: Jaken

Jaken: Yes my lord?

Sesshomaru: Shut up.

Jaken:

Rin: I just want to know, what's the deal with you all making me Sesshomaru's WOMAN when I grow up? I mean, come on…like…Ewwwwww! That's just like soooooo wrong, on soooooo many levels! I mean, That's NASTY! BARF-O-RAMA! He's old enough to be an ancient tree in my backyard! I'm young and cute, I can do a lot better than **that** old fart. No offense lord Sesshomaru.

Sesshomaru: I don't take offense at human's _sniffle_

Rin: I'm sorry _scratches behind Sesshomaru's ears_ Better now?

Sesshomaru: _sniffle_ Yes.

Miroku: I have a question

Sango: Here we go. _rolls eyes_

Kagome: No Miroku, I wont bear your children

Rin: Ewwwwwwwwww! Don't look at me! I can do way better than you too!

Miroku: No, No… But, as long as I'm asking…

Kagome, Sango, Rin: NO!

Miroku: Ok, Ok,

InuYasha: Hey, how come none of us guys have shirts on?

Kagome: Well, Its Mitsukai's interview, so it's her imagination

Sesshomaru: I feel like such a piece of meat.

Naraku: I Naraku, say…Why doesn't anyone want to see me, Naraku, without a shirt on?

Sango: Nobody invited you! Get out! And take Kagura and Kanna with you!

Naraku: I am Naraku and I have every right to go where ever I Naraku decide I want to go because I am Naraku.

Sesshomaru: Can someone tell me what he just said?

InuYasha: he said your ugly and you smell bad

Koga: I'll take Naraku out of here. C'mon ugly ape boy, lets go. _throws Naraku out_

Koga: Hey Kagome! I'm sorry you missed me so much

Kagome :_rolls eyes_

InuYasha: hands off wolf-shit

Koga: Shut up milk bone

InuYasha: You shut up wimp

Koga: Butt munch

InuYasha: Flea magnet

Koga: Go fetch _Throws stick_

InuYasha: _Chases, then stops suddenly_ #&$#!

Kagome: Boys, Boys, This is a family Interview!

InuYasha: Why did Mitsukai let the throw rug in?

Kagome: I like….I mean She likes his body.

InuYasha: WHAT?????

Sesshomaru: I don't let humans like my body

InuYasha: WHAT?????

Sesshomaru: They are inferior to admire my lean trim sexy flesh

InuYasha: WHAT?????

Sesshomaru: I said they are…

InuYasha: Not you, you stupid jackass.

Kagome: Well, before this gets out of hand…

InuYasha: Kagome, I said WHAT????

Kagome: Sit boy.

_SLAM_

InuYasha: #&#

Sesshomaru: _snickers_

Kagome: _Slaps Sesshomaru on the back of the head_

Jaken: You brazen woman!

Kagome: Jaken, shut up

Jaken: I don't take orders from you, your just a ..

Sesshomaru: Jaken

Jaken: Yes my lord?

Sesshomaru: Shut up

Jaken:...

Kagome: Well, now that our introductions are out of the way…

Ayame: Hey, what about me?

Kagome: Oh, I'm sorry Ayame, would you like to say a few words?

Ayame: Well, just to remind you that Koga is my hot burning hunk of man wolf, so back off honey.

Kagome: OOOOOOOO….KKKKKKKKK.

InuYasha: Guess she told you

Kagome: InuYasha

InuYasha: Oh Crap

Kagome: SIT

_SLAM_

InuYasha:&#&#!

InuYasha: Sorry _Kisses Kagome on the cheek_

Sesshomaru: I don't suck up to humans.

Kagome: Oh InuYasha! That was so sweet!

InuYasha: Well, I try.

Kagome: Your good at it

InuYasha: Well, if I don't mind saying so myself…

Miroku: and he doesn't.

Kagome: Oh InuYasha

InuYasha: Kagome

Kagome: _Kiss_

InuYasha: _Kiss_

Koga: BARF

Miroku: They are so sweet. Hey, Sango…Kiss

Sango: _Slap!_

Shippo: Get a room

Miroku: Okay, ….

Sango: Not you! _SLAP_ Pervert!

Kagome: Anyway. We have a list of questions that Mitsuaki prepared from her visitors

Miroku: I have a question

Kagome, Sango, Ayame, Rin :NO!

_SlapSlapSlapSlap_

Sesshomaru: I don't let human women slap me

_SlapSlapSlapSlap_

InuYasha: Now you do hehehe

_SlapSlapSlapSlap_

InuYasha: &($&#!

_SlapSlapSlapSlap_

Shippo: HEY! What did I do?

Kagome: oops,. Sorry Shippo, we just got a little carried away.

Naraku: I am Naraku, and I Naraku want to know why no one wants to slap me, Naraku

InuYasha: My turn. C'mon banana breath, lets go.

Naraku: I am Naraku! I demand that you slap me like everyone else and let ME Naraku take off my shirt……..

Sango: Don't let him, I'll barf

Kagura: Please Kagome, don't make us leave with him again.

Kagome: Okay, you can stay, just don't talk. You either.

Kanna:...

Miroku: Mitsukai….I don't mind if you wish to admire my hard muscular glistening wet body….Say, would you consider bearing my children?

Mitsukai steps in and whispers to Sango

Sango: Sure Mitsuaki.

_SLAP_

Miroku: Well, Maybe I'll just put my shirt on then...

Kagome: NO!

InuYasha: Excuse me?

Kagome: Uh..er...I mean..Mitsukai...

InuYasha: Feh. _pout_

Kagome: I'm sorry

InuYasha: Really?

Kagome: Of course …… honey bunny

InuYasha: Snookums

Kagome: Sweetiepie

InuYasha: _Kissy kiss_

Kagome: _Kissy kiss_

Shippo: There's kids here ya know!

Kanna:...

Koga: I'm going into sugar shock

Ayame: Koga…… Kissy kiss?

Koga: Ummm, maybe in ten years when you grow up

Naraku: I am Naraku and I Naraku want to know why someone as important as I, Naraku, have been excluded from this interview.

Kagome: Naraku, go away

Shippo: Ill get him out of here. C'mon idiot

Naraku: I Naraku, am insulted…..this tiny whelp….thinks he can…..remove me, Naraku?

Shippo: Shut up _Grabs his ear and drags him out_

Kanna: Shippo, your such a big strong kitsune …can I stay with you?

Shippo: No

Kanna: Why not?

Shippo: Because your creepy

Sesshomaru: I don't let human's be creepy around me

Koga: Hey Sesshomaru, your kinda annoying

Sesshomaru: You kinda smell like wolf poop

Koga: You kinda have ten foot long armpit hair

Sesshomaru: Your kinda in love with a filthy human

Kagome: Hey! _Slap_

InuYasha: Nobody insults Kagome when I'm around.

Sesshomaru: Okay, then I will insult you.

InuYasha: That's better.

Naraku: I Naraku say THIS IS IT! I Naraku want to know why no one will insult me. How dare you leave me out, I Naraku say, INSULT me too!

Sesshomaru: Ok, your ugly, stupid, and have really bad taste in clothes

InuYasha: Don't forget that he reeks and picks his nose

Miroku: And somewhere there's a poor naked baboon running around cause he stole its pelt.

Shippo: And he smells like rotten moldy banana peels and baboon poop

Koga: And he wipes his butt and then sniffs his fingers

Naraku: I Naraku say, that wasn't as enjoyable as I Naraku thought it would be.

Kagome: Hey, who keeps letting Naraku in anyway?

Ayame: Someone call security, before he tries to hurt my Kogakins

InuYasha: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! KOGA-KINS!

Koga:_ POUND_

_InuYasha: #&$(_

_Security rushes in and removes Naraku_

Kagome: Okay, now that the apes gone, for now anyway, lets get to some questions. The first question is for Shippo. Marsha from RI wants to know What did you really think of InuYasha the first time you met him?

Shippo: The same thing I think of him now. He's a long haired, dog eared, freak with a bad temper and lousy taste in women. If I had half a chance I would grab Kagome, run off and never be seen again.

Kagome: Oh Shippo, that's so sweet.

Kagura: That reminds me…Why isn't Kikyo here?

Sango: Because Mitsukai wont let her on her web sight.

Kagura: Why?

InuYasha: Cuz, Kikyo sucks.

Kagome: InuYasha! I didn't know you felt that way.

InuYasha: Well, Not like I'm the writer. If I had my way Id say #& the jewel shards, take ya back to your own time, punch Homo in the nose, marry you and have about three dozen puppies.

Kagome: InuYasha!

InuYasha: Kagome!

Kagome: InuYasha _nuzzles_

InuYasha: Kagome…_nuzzles_

Kagome: InuYasha _nuzzles_

InuYasha: Kiss ….Kiss _nuzzles_

Kagome: Kiss….Kiss_ nuzzles_

Shippo: Ugh! Would someone hose those two down?

Sango: Uhhhh…Miroku?

Miroku: Yes Sango?

Sango: Miroku _nuzzles_

Miroku: Sango _nuzzles_

Sango: Miroku….._nuzzles_

Miroku:……Sango _nuzzles_

Sango…..Never mind

Shippo: What a bunch of idiots,

Ayame: Koga! Why don't you ever get all mushy with me?

Koga: I don't even remember you,

Ayame: You do too!

Koga: Do not

Ayame: do too!

Koga :Not

Ayame: Do!

Koga : NOT!

Ayame: DO DO DO! This is all your fault Kaaaaagoooooomeeeee!

Kagome: Huh? What did I do?

Koga: I'm in love with you Kagome. Aren't you ready to leave that hairball and be with a real man?

Sesshomaru: I don't speak to human hairballs

Naraku: Ha! I've busted my way back in, and look what I Naraku _Slap_ have brought with me? It is a new demon that I _Slap_ Naraku just gave birth to, yes, I Naraku punch am so wonderful that I Naraku _ouch_ can give birth even though I, Naraku, am a man.

Koga: What did he just say?

InuYasha: He said you're a doofus and have a big butt

Koga: Oh.

Kagome: Okay Naraku. Where is this new demon you brought with you.

Naraku: I Naraku have given birth to a demon who _ouch_ is so powerful that none but I, _kick_ Naraku can see it or feel its attacks _ SLAM, POUND, SLAP_ See! HAHAHAHA.

Kagome: Naraku?

Naraku: I Naraku say.kick.What

Kagome: If we can't see it or feel its attacks….what is the point

Naraku: I Naraku,don't have any fucking Idea, _ouch_ but I Naraku_ pound _ am running out of ideas _pound_ for my demon children, so….._ slap_

Sango:My turn, come on ugly_ drags Naraku out and drop kicks him_

Kagome: Ummm, oooooooooookkkkkk

Koga: HEY! Rover called me a name and insulted my butt

Kagome: About five minutes ago.

Koga: I've had just about enough of you muttface. How bout I kick you in the head, not that there's much up there to hurt

InuYasha: TESSIAGA

Miroku: InuYasha, calm down. He's just trying to get a rise out of you to make you look bad.

Sesshomaru: As if he needs any help

Shippo: Yeah, specially when he is always two timing her with the dead sea hag

InuYasha: Hey, don't call her a sea hag! I prefer &#$&. And like I said before, it not my fault, I ain't the writer!

Kagome: _Giggles _Oh InuYasha

Sesshomaru: Kagome, have you ever considered leaving these boys for a real demon?

Kagome: Are you talking about yourself Sesshomaru?

Sesshomaru: I don't mate with human women

Kagome: uh…

Sesshomaru: But, if you promise not to tell anyone……_winky wink_

InuYasha: HEY! Don't you touch her you &$(&$&($&#($&#&($(&($+)(&(&+)(&(&$

Miroku: Simmer down InuYasha

InuYasha: How would you like it if someone was hitting on your woman?

Miroku: I'm secure enough to….

InuYasha: Hey Sango…wanna bear my children?

Sango: Why InuYasha! I'd be honored to!

Miroku: Sango! How…How….can you….

Sango: HA! Sucks when the shoes on the other foot huh

Kagome: Sango, your my best friend. _giggle giggle_

InuYasha: What about those girls and that Homo #$& you are always with in your own time?

Kagome: UGH! Its always "Do this, do that!" Makes me want to knock their heads together. And HoJo? UGH, what a goody two shoes! Sometimes I just want to take off this stupid skirt put on some hot black leather pants and matching leather halter top and dance like a stripper on his desk! He'd probably just give me some kind of medicine! What a twerp.

HoJo: Hey, Kagome! Did you just call me? How are you feeling? You haven't been in school much lately, I brought you some ……….

InuYasha: _PUNCH_

HoJo: It was nice talking to you Kagome, here's some preparation H for that hemorrhoid sitting next to you. When your feeling better we'll have to go on that date and...

InuYasha: _PUNCH_

HoJo: Okay then, Bye Kagome!

Kagome: See what I mean? TWERP!

Miroku: Kagome, if you really have that urge to dance like a stripper its not healthy to keep it inside, feel free to ….

_PUNCH_

InuYasha: If Kagome is going to act like that for anyone it better be me!

Koga: _Me Me ME!_

_Punch_

Naraku: I Naraku say ME ME ME!

_PUNCH PUNCH_

Sesshomaru: My turn picks Naraku up with one hand and tosses him through a window.

Kagome: Sesshomaru, your pretty strong for a guy with one arm.

Sesshomaru: I don't show my big firm bulging muscles to humans _Winky Wink_

Kagome: Umm, ok, lets have another question. InuYasha…Ross from Michigan wants to know "Why do you and Sesshomaru hate each other so much?"

Sesshomaru: I don't answer humans questions

InuYasha: Good, cause no ones talking to you Fluffy. When we were kids, Sesshomaru broke a torch in Dads office and he blamed me for it. And he tried to kill my woman a couple of times.

Kagome: _cuddles InuYasha._

Sesshomaru: InuYasha drooled on me in his sleep, took my favorite hairbrush and used my make-up without my permission. Oh, and there was that cutting my arm off thing too

Kagome: Brittany in Minnesota wants to know…Koga, how come you denied that you remembered promising to marry Ayame even thought you did remember at the end of the episode?

Ayame: You WHAT?

Koga: Hey, do I look like the writer? How am I suppose to know. Besides, your not even canon.

Ayame: _SLAP_

InuYasha: _Snicker_

Koga: Shut up Rover

Kagome: OK, our next question is from Trish in Texas, Sesshomaru, why do you hate humans so much?

Sesshomaru: I would tell you but, I don't answer humans questions

Rin: You answer my questions

Sesshomaru: You bite my tail if I don't.

Sango: You go girl

Kagome: We have time for one more question. Tiffany in Maine wants to know, for everyone, If you could have one wish what would it be?

Koga: For Kagome to dump Rover

Shippo: A new box of crayons and a crate of Pocky.

Miroku: For my hand to be healed, for Sango to bear my children and let me grab her butt once and awhile and….

InuYasha: Hey Monk, it was ONE wish.

Miroku: Didn't you notice InuYasha, it's a run on sentence.

Sesshomaru: To find a demon woman who is worthy of me. But Kagome, if you change your mind, here's my card

InuYasha: That's it fluffy _Punch_

Sesshomaru: Back off spot. _punch_

InuYasha: One armed freak. _punch_

Sesshomaru: Hairball. _punch_

InuYasha: Butthead._ punch_

Sesshomaru: Ugly. _punch_

Kagome: Uh, can we have some semblance of order here? Ayame? What's your wish?

Ayame: I want my Koga-kins

InuYasha: _Snickers_ Koga Kins!

Koga: That's it..

_Slap, boom bang scuffle_

InuYasha: Nice try fart face. _.punch_

Kagome: How bout you Rin?

Rin: I want someone to write a fanfic about me and a really hot guy my OWN AGE. No offense lord Sesshomaru

Sesshomaru: _Sniffle _ Bring the kid back to life and this is the thanks I get.

Jaken: Shame on you Rin!

Sesshomaru: Jaken

Jaken: Yes my lord?

Sesshomaru: Shut up

Jaken:

Rin: _Pets Sesshomaru until his leg starts to thump_ All better now my lord?

Sesshomaru: Yes _sniffle_

Kagome: InuYasha…What's yourrrrrrrrrrr wish?

InuYasha:&$&$)&&#$)(!&$!&&)(!#&)&&&($&()#$&())(&$$&())(&$&()+)(&#$&())(&&()+$&()$#&()+#$&()$#&()+$&()#$&()+$&

Kagome: InuYasha! _Turns completely red_

InuYasha: What's your wish Kagome?

Kagome:&$&$)&&#$)(!&$!&&)(!#&)&&&($&()#$&())(&$$&())(&$&()+)(&#$&())(&&()+$&()$#&()+#$&()$#&()+$&()#$&()+$&

InuYasha: Oh yeah? Then could we ….&$&$)&&#$)(!&$!&&)(!#&)&&&($&()#$&())(&$$&())(&$&()+)(&#$&())(&&()+$&()$#&()+#$&()$#&()+$&()#$&()+$&

Shippo: Get a room

Sango: I just want my brother to not try to kill me anymore.

Miroku: What about me Sango?

Sango: #(# off Monk_ Slap_

Kagome: Kagura? Kanna?

Kanna: I'd like to put this mirror down so I can rest my arms for five minutes.

Kagura: Naraku's latest incarnation to rip his throat out.

Sesshomaru: Kagura, you sound like my kind of demon. Wanna be my woman? We can kill InuYasha together.

Kagura: I would, but to be honest, I find you rather repulsive

Naraku: I Naraku wish to be included in this interview because I am Naraku

Kagome: _Takes out a tranquilizer dart gun and shoots Naraku in the butt_

Sesshomaru: Kagome, I could break my no human rule….

Kagome: _Shoots dart_

InuYasha: Hey fluffy, back off my woman already

Kagome: _Shoots dart_

Jaken: Hey, where can I get_ one of those dart guns?_

_Kagome: _Shoots dart

InuYasha: Snookums, how could you?

Kagome: Sorry, honey bunny….its girls night out and you never want to let me go…….you know what they say…….girls just wanna have fun!

Koga: Kagome …

Kagome:._...Shoots dart..._

Ayame: Kagomeeeeeeeeee What did you do to my……..

Kagome:._...Shoots dart, reloads_...

Miroku: Sango!!!!!!!! I'm feeling pretty excited right…..now. Want to………..

Kagome: Hands dart gun to Sango

Sango: ..._Shoots dart..._

Shippo: Kagome!

Kagome:._...Shoots dart..._

Kagome: Well, now that everyone is unconscious, that's our show for today….Thanks Mitsukai for inviting us. They'll sleep it off it about an hour. C'mon girls, lets go grab some strawberry margaritas and cherry Jell-O shots.

Higurashi…OUT

_They leave singing…………._

_Girls just wanna have fuuuuunnn………….._


End file.
